


you see two red lights and nine yellow lights in the forest it is mothman and his menorah

by flatwoods



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Trans Duck Newton, everyone is jewish if i say so you cant stop me, everyones trans if i say so too, happy hanukkah motherfuckers tis the season, i was gonna proofread this but i got too excited to post it so whatever the fuck, im jewish i have that power, takes place after the current arc ig hopefully whatever happens next doesnt wreck it!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-12 20:39:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16878798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flatwoods/pseuds/flatwoods
Summary: a light hanukkah fic for these dark winter months





	you see two red lights and nine yellow lights in the forest it is mothman and his menorah

**Author's Note:**

> title is from a post by date-a-jew-suggestions. assume this takes place in an au where it's not 2018 precisely and hanukkah falls more around like late december/early january..... also if you notice any errors wrt canon please pretend they are intentional and this is just an au where whatever i write is true because i Dont have the Time to go back and double check akjskfgljdfg

After the abomination was gone, winter in Kepler almost seemed to soften—which was stupid, Duck knew, winter in Kepler was always bitter cold and frozen solid. The softest thing about winter in Kepler had been those big, fluffy snowflakes that turned out to be nightmare spores. No, winter in Kepler was all ugly sleet and icy roads and hard edges. But all through December, Duck realized, he’d been waiting for the penny to drop, waiting for the abomination to show up, waiting to fight a monster. Now that it was gone, Duck stopped seeing the world as a potential battleground. He could afford to look at the frozen boughs of trees without wondering what was lurking in them, could go ice-skating without fearing living water underneath his blades. The temperature was way below freezing, the air was harsh and cutting, and Duck’s quiet town was clogged with skiers who drove fast and didn’t stop at intersections. But to Duck, winter in Kepler had softened.

Which was maybe not the best thing, because Duck had been too busy thinking about ice-skating and the frozen boughs of trees to realize the borrowed ranger vehicle he was in didn’t have snow chains. He skidded and swerved his way to a stop in the middle of the Amnesty Lodge parking lot, throwing the brake and nearly falling out of the car. After locking up, he headed inside fast, hoping to warm up in the lounge and ignore his myriad near-crashes. Instead, he was met with a round of applause.

“Bravo, Duck Newton, for maybe the funniest fuckin’ thing I’ve seen all winter!” Ned, clad in a parka over a sports coat over a T-shirt, wandered over to Duck from where he’d been standing by the window. “Don’t they teach you how to drive in ranger school?”

“Mornin’, Ned,” Duck replied, walking past him on his way towards the Lodge’s kitchen. “And yeah, they do, but apparently they didn’t teach the motherfucker who owns that truck what snow is.”

“No chains, huh? How’re ya planning to leave? Unless you’re moving in to the Lodge.”

Duck paused. “Fuck, I dunno, guess I’ll just slide my way down the roads again? Truth be told, I’m really just here to talk to Jake. Kind of a pit stop, hopefully, I’m not gonna be long.”

Ned’s scruffy eyebrows shot up his forehead. “Pretty sure the kid’s out on the slopes, Duck. What the hell do you need Jake Cool-ice for?”

“…Aw, shit, I should’ve thought of that. Goddamn radio quiet zone. Okay. Guess I’ll just… hang out here, then.” Duck resumed his walk, pushing through a side door into the large, cluttered kitchen. Ned followed him in, making a beeline for some cabinets and rooting around for a box of tea. 

“Well, why did you need to hit up Jake?”

“I was gonna ask… ah, it’s stupid, I was gonna ask if Jake remembered Indrid’s number? ‘Cause I didn’t write it down after he, y’know, star-69’ed it, and usually we just drive straight down to Indrid’s but he always calls first, and it’s not like I can waltz in there unannounced, so…”

“Wait, Duck, that’s it? I have Mothman’s number right here, hold on.” Ned reached into the pockets of his parka, pulling out a phone. “I mean, I can’t call it from this or anything, but Kirby insisted that I could just use a phone like an address book-album-notebook-whatever. So.” He showed the phone triumphantly to Duck, which was open to a contact titled “Indrid Moth Man Cold.”

“Hey, that’s great! Thanks, Ned! Gonna use the lobby phone, lemme borrow this for a minute.” Duck reached for the phone, but Ned pulled it back. “Now, hey, hold on a second. Why are you tracking down Mothman? You think he’s seen a future bom-bom or something?”

“No, Ned, it’s… it’s nothin’ like that. It’s, well, it’s like I said. It’s stupid.”

“So stupid that you don’t need his phone number? Because… oh, never mind.” Ned winked at Duck, a ridiculous exaggerated wink that was not nearly half as subtle as he probably though tit was. “Now I see what’s goin’ on.”

“No—Ned! Hey, that’s not it! I just…”

“No, no, Duck, I get it, take the phone,” Ned said, pushing the phone at Duck through muffled laughter. “Althoug, y’know, we’ve only talked to him a few times, you’re moving a little fast—”

“I—Ned!” Duck sighed and batted Ned’s hand away. “Listen, I just… the last time we were at Indrid’s place, I saw a hamsa on the wall—”

“A what-sa?”

“A hamsa, it’s—well, it’s kind of a lot of things, but mostly a Jewish thing, and I thought maybe if he’s Jewish… I wasn’t really gonna do Hanukkah this year, ‘cause Jane’s gone, and it’s really not that serious of a holiday anyway, it’s not that big a deal, so I was just plannin’ on lighting the hanukkiya at home and not really doing much else, but I figured maybe if Indrid’s Jewish we might, I dunno, do it together? There aren’t that many Jewish folks in Kepler, and it’s been awhile since I met anyone new, and I figured it might be, y’know, better than doing it alone, and this way if someone else’s involved I gotta make sure I actually do it. I mean, I was gonna anyway, but you know how holidays are, and like I said, there’s a lotta Jewish holidays, Hanukkah isn’t even a big one...” Duck trailed off, looking sheepish.

Ned slowly reached the phone out again, staying quiet for a few seconds. “Well, coming from you, that was definitely far too coherent to be a lie—”

“—What! Hey, fuck you!” Duck interrupted, but Ned kept going.

“—But it was also a very, very convoluted way to say ‘I thought we could do Hanukkah together,’ so it’s definitely not the full truth, otherwise I don’t think you would’ve sounded like you were having a panic attack in slow motion as you said it.” Ned grinned.

Duck rolled his eyes, swiped the phone from Ned’s outstretched hand, and walked out of the kitchen, ignoring Ned’s cries of “Hey, I’m just saying!” from behind him.

**Author's Note:**

> whats upppp im very excited for this. maybe ill actually... finish this fic, im gonna try to keep it to three chapters maybe so i . actually complete it for once. probably not in time for the end of hanukkah but You Know. 
> 
> uhh hmu on.... instagram @ eyesprawl? lost my tumblr, but if u wanna see some hypothetical taz art in the future / my idiot face / maybe some writing previews on my story eventually, idk who knows, u can find me on insta


End file.
